THINGS I SAW IN VIENNA
Sorry for missing my regularly scheduled missive last week, for my wife and I took a Fall break trip to Vienna, Austria, a 50 minute plane ride from our current home base in Prague, Czech Republic. Traveling while in Europe still boggles my mind with it’s ease and short distances, unless…
Our initial plan was to travel to Transylvania, Romania, figuring it would have almost been Halloween and where better to go in Europe than the home town of Dracula? Easier said than done as there is no direct flight to the vampire lords hometown and we’d be spending close to 13 hours negotiating layovers, train rides, and horse and buggy connections to arrive in Transylvania. So we said fuck it, it’s been there for hundreds of years, let’s go to Vienna and drink fancy coffee and see masterpieces of art, and so we did.
Vienna, to my senses, is super ostentatious and ornate, compared to Prague’s humble and self-assured beauty. Possibly due to centuries of exceedingly wealthy nobles that inhabited the city, everywhere you look are masterpieces of architecture, royal palaces, giant halls full of opulent decorations and painted facades of masterworks. It’s unrelenting and a true feast for the eyes.
Nestled in between sprawling palatial estates, art museums packed full of art history 101 masterpieces, sky-scraping ancient churches, are the fanciest cafe’s, with lines out the door of eager people waiting to partake of the Viennese penchant for refined coffee. Nary a Starbucks in sight. Why fucking bother? We visited one, full occupancy inside, so we sat on the patio where the waiter asked me the most important question I’ve ever been asked:
“Do you have any concrete wishes?”
Awestruck, I didn’t know how to answer so I just ordered a cappuccino and a croissant.
THE BONES OF VIENNA
As is our traveling desire, if we come to your European town and it’s got a pile of bones to see, we’ll sniff them out and find them. Bone piles were provided by the royal crypt, loaded up with highly detailed and sculpted tombs covered in skulls and death imagery where they keep their royal’s bones, and the sprawling, sky-tearing Saint Stephen’s cathedral where they keep the bones of various church personnel, plague victims, and, maybe, the liver of Mother Theresa in a jar. No photos allowed.
Capping that off was our random discovery of a shoddily preserved amusement park that surely would have been condemned in the ewe es of aye, but luckily for us was still creaking along in Vienna so my wife could partake in their highly kitsch haunted house ride where she was slapped in the face with bloody rubber boobs.
Ah, Vienna. See for yourself.
We both contracted some sort of super plague during our trip and since our return have been nursing ourselves back to health but Vienna was worth it.
HAPPY BELATED-DIDDILY HALLOWEEN
Halloween is but a distant memory now and the relentless onslaught of Christmas starts it’s unyielding march but just in case you missed it, or need to keep the consumerism holiday monster at bay a little longer, here’s some of my favorite Simpsons “Treehouse of Horror” characters I drew up for some Halloween spirit.
WHAT I’VE BEEN LISTENING TO
Ragna - Desolation’s Flower
Wayfarer - American Gothic
The Gaslight Anthem - History Books
Autopsy - Ashes, Organs, Blood and Crypts
Doro - Conqueress - Forever Strong and Proud
Sorcerer - Reign of the Reaper
False Flag - Let Them Eat Fake
LYRICS OF THE WEEK
For when the last hour dies and your eyes grow tired
And the booze don't work no more
And the Bible pages have disintegrated
Found cracks down in the floor
It's you and I alone, walking to the sea
You and I alone is all I ever need
You and I alone is all I ever dream and where I need to be
Chuck Ragan - “You and I Alone”