DUMPLINGS, GROG, AND THE KRAMPUS
You may have heard about the Krampus, the horned, devil-looking fella that functions as the antithesis to the jollier, rewarding Santa Clause, who eats naughty children? They made a movie about him a few years back that is deliciously mean spirited and just what you need when the onslaught of Christmas cheer has rubbed your last nerve raw.
The internet says the Krampus legends hail from Austria and Germany and being that I’m now in the neighboring country of Czech Republic, it is full on Krampus season. There are little Krampus, foil wrapped chocolates at the grocery store, Krampus decorations, and for at least one night, the Krampuses (Krampusi, Krampusee?) are let loose in the city of Prague for an evening of evil good times.
Obviously, not wanting to miss such a spectacle, I bought tickets for me and my wife to witness the Krampus Night, wherein we were promised by the even promotion “no less than 152 Krampuses.”
Excellent.
We set off into the snowy night, first stopping at our newly christened favorite restaurant, a dim sum place that has a vast variety of vegan dumplings that are oh so delectable, and steamed sacks of food is just what you need to get ready for the Krampuses on cold, snow-blown night.
The even was to start at 20:00 so, being ever worried about time, I had us arrive at 17:30, not sure what to expect. What we found was a large, gated off area, where presumably the Krampuses would roam, and an assortment of vendor booths providing refreshments and Krampus related merchandise and doodily-doos.
We were off to the refreshments where they were advertising something called “grog” a heretofore something I wasn’t familiar with, but sounding like the kind of beverage one would have in honor of Krampus, no doubt it’s frothing, bubbling goods spilling over some archaic, handmade wooden vessel, or drinking horn.
Alas, the grog was served in a plastic solo cup and was a mixture of tea, rum, sugar, and lemon. Not as demonic as I had hope.
Periodically, while we waited for the show, a man’s booming Czech voice screamed over the PA system about the oncoming arrival of the Krampuses, at least I think that’s what he was saying. Czech is a doozy of a language but “Krampus” seems to universally translate. We gathered around the gates and waited.
Soon the beasts were loosed! They marched around the parameter, jumping and pouncing on looker-ons, tearing hats from unsuspecting heads, grabbing at the screaming ladies, and generally causing havoc.
It was a wonderful, cheesy good time, and a perfect, grog-filled, snowy evening spent in Prague, surrounded by devils, no saints in sight.
IT’S THAT FUCKING TIME OF YEAR
Speaking of being loosed, the Spotify yearly “Wrapped” social media posts have begun, wherein everybody you know shares the culmination of their yearly Spotify listening habits.
I don’t use Spotify, being staunchly entrenched in the Apple ecosystem, sticking with Apple Music from when it was iTunes. Only during the pandemic did I have my classic iPod forcefully wrenched from my hands by it’s dying machinery and the proliferation of streaming music, so I get to share my Apple Music equivalent of the ever-popular Spotify Wrap Up, “Replay.”
What a weird music year for me. Despite what the readout says, I essentially shunned most of Metal, bored by it’s staunch traditionalism and same-old-same-old releases, which in turn cut down the majority of my listening time.
Then I moved to Prague and didn’t listen to much of anything for over a month while we got settled.
So, there it is, my 2023 life in music.
ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE’S TOP 500 ALBUMS
OF ALL TIME
I’m making my way through Rolling Stone Magazine’s top 500 albums off all time list. The journey continues:
493: Marvin Gaye - “Here, My Dear” (1978)
Most of my experience with Marvin Gaye is in knowing he has a lot of super horny, funky soul songs expressing his pointed interest in “getting it on.” Fair enough. This having been the first full Marvin Gaye album I’ve ever heard and not just a sexy song usually played for laughs in some movie, I think my initial thoughts of him being a funky sex crooner were right. For crying out loud there’s a song on here about blasting in to space to have sex on a space bed. Again, fair enough, somebody has to find a way to make space travel romantic, why not the sultry voice of Marvin Gaye?
492: Bonnie Raitt - “Nick of Time” (1989)
I guess I thought Bonnie Raitt played country music. Question mark? Maybe she did at one point but this is clearly that blues rock. I know I started this list under the pretense of creative exploration but I’ve never been able to purchase interest in this cut and dry, basic blues rock sound. It has always sounded so generic beer commercial, dad rock to me, hoisted on me by some middle aged dude talking about the blues scales Stevie Ray Vaughn could play.
There’s tremendous talent here, and I tried, I did, but there’s not much here for me.
491: Harry Styles - “Fine Line” (2019)
I don’t know if I’ve actually ever heard a one direction song. Believe it or not my tastes don’t lean towards British boy bands, but I do know Harry Styles is a solo act and one of the biggest things of ever. It’s pretty easy to hear why. His songs are catchy as fuck, amazingly sung, oozing with emotion, all wrapped up in some of that David Bowie, Freddy Mercury bravado.
He says this album is “all about having sex and feeling sad,” and you have to admire the dedication to the theme here.
490: Linda Rondstadt - “Heart Like a Wheel” (1975)
So, I also assumed Linda was a country musician but that might be entirely informed by her guest appearance on The Simpsons a million years ago, and, I guess, this album is kind of country. I know she was once married to George Lucas so I couldn’t help but picture him during all these sad heartbreak love songs, unable to come to terms with the idea of him being romantic in any manner.
Good voice. Sad songs. Linda Rondstadt. Mister Plow is a loser.
THINGS I’M LISTENING TO
SS Decontrol - “The Kids Will Have Their Say” (Trust Edition)
Zorn - “Zorn”
Dwarves - “Concept Album”
March - “Get In”
Aeolian - “Echoes of the Future”
Devin Townsend - “Infinity” (Remastered 2023)
Panopticon - “The Rime of Memory”
Exulansis - “Hymns of Collapse”
Exulansis - “Overture of Uprising”
LYRICS OF THE WEEK
Bury me at sea
Where no murdered ghost can haunt me
If I rock upon the waves
And no corpse can lie upon me
The Pogues (RIP Shane MacGowan 1957-2023) - “If I Should Fall From Grace With God”